Told My Mother

I finally got to talk to my mom last week after a few days of playing phone tag. She and I had talked a few weeks back - I called her, looking for some reasurance that we weren't totally crazy for considering this, and asked her quite bluntly if she thought I'd be a good mom. Anyway, she was pretty happy, and wished us good luck. It felt good to finally say something to her. Of course, she told my dad, and then my little brother. On my side of the family, there really isn't anyone left to tell. I've told my parents, and my sister in Santa Fe. I even let it slip to my boss when we were talking about insurance for next year.

On a side note, I am 99% postive I am not pregnant yet. Yes, I know we are just beginning this process, and I am in no way discouraged, but I am pretty sure we did not get lucky the first time. I don't feel any different and I don't feel pregnant. Maybe next month.

Christmas Plans = Finalized

I purchased our tickets this morning, and sent the details to Janelle by email. I even sent them to Stevie, who may or may not also be in sunny Phoenix for the holiday. I have a dog sitter lined up, and even a back up kenel, just in case. This has been important to Chris that we make it to Phoenix this year. I think he's worried about his dad, and about Leroy. Neither of them are in the best health these days.

We fly out pretty early in the morning on the way down there, so that will be a challenge. 6am is a little on the early side for me. And, lord help me if I am pregnant by then, and I have morning sickness. I am not the best flier as is. Arfing will not help matters. Just won't.

Eye Opening Experience

Chris is finally done working Saturdays at Scotts, so we took advantage of the beautiful fall weather and got out of the house today. There is a new out door mall that opened up down the street a ways. We had some lunch and then went to Target. Chris wandered off and I found him in the kids section, looking at baby clothes. So, we walked around the clothes, the pack n plays, the strollers, the bottles, the car seats, the diapers, and every thing else it seems a kid needs. I got more and more over whelmed, whereas I think he would have happily maxed out our Taget card buying one of everthing! Who knew babies cost so much money!?!? Wow!! It was a little frightening to see all the stuff we have to buy, and how much it all costs, that's for sure. Hopefully we can get a lot of money stashed away between now and then so that our checkook won't take such a hit.

According to some chart, I am supposed to ovulate this weekend. So far, I won't let Chris near me. I think it's a little too real at the moment for me. Maybe tomorrow, but not today.

Telling My Friends

On Monday morning, the very first person I told was Angela, my bff, who lives in Austin. I sent her an email and then waited impatiently for her to read it and respond. It seems like telling someone made it a little more real. Sunday night my stomach was all in knots, but once I'd actually told someone and gotten some positive feedback that Chris and I really could do this, it somehow seemed to ease the anxiety. I told Moni here at my office, but swore her to secrecy. She and Eli are also trying and I worry that the girls would have a heart attack if they knew there was a chance of us both being pregnant at the same time. And this morning I called Brooke, who is my dear friend in Denver. She was quite happy as she's been nagging me forever to give her kids some playmates. I figure we were just waiting for her kids to be old enough to babysit for us!

I've been asked more than once about our "deal". No, Chris has not stopped smoking yet. He was honest with me about the fact that he's not yet ready to make that committment, and that he felt like he would be more committed to it when I got pregnant. He does not want to smoke when we have a child, so I've got to just let go and let him decide when he's ready.

We are making plans to go to Phoenix for Christmas. It's really important to Chris that we go, so we're trying. Airfare isn't what it used to be that's for sure! I think he really wants to tell his mom in person. I'd love that too, but tickets to Missoula are an arm and 4 legs these days. I'll likely have to settle for telling them on the speaker phone this weekend.

He Said YES!!

We had such a wonderful weekend! For any of you that don't know, Chris and I alternate planning our anniversary. I planned our 1st year, so this was Chris' turn. The fun part is that the other one has no idea where we are going. He'd made reservations Saturday overnight at a little bed and breakfast outside of Evergreen. We went the long way through some of the foothills, and the drive was just amazing. The aspens are lower in elevation down here and so many still had their gold leaves. The drive really was very beautiful.

Once we'd checked in we wandered around town and shopped and looked and talked. Dinner wasn't anything too special - I was having such a hard time finding something I wanted. I think I wanted to tell Chris over dinner, and I couldn't find the right ambiance. We ended up at Beau Jo's having pizza and salad.

When we got back to the room, we relaxed in the jacuzzi tub. The owners sent Chris back up to our room with a glass of chardonay and a St. Paulies. I told him that I had not re-filled my pills (he knew I was at the end of the pack), and he looked at me with a little bit of shock, but I think he was genuinely happy. So, we toasted to "having fun making a family". I am definately nervous, but I know that Chris will make an excellent dad, and I know we will make good parents. We're mostly on the same page about how to raise our kids, and we balance eachother well. I know that I'll be able to count on him when I've had enough, and he will be able to count on me when he's had enough.

So, there ya go! Of course, I have no idea how long this process is going to take, but we're ready to be patient with it. My body is going to need a little time to adjust. It was wierd to get up this morning and not see that little yellow pack of pills on the counter. It seemed emptier than usual.

Anniversary Weekend Bed and Breakfast

Chris and I are sneaking away to a local bed and breakfast this weekend to celebrate our 2 year wedding anniversary. Our actual anniversary was on Tuesday. We kept it pretty low key with some cards to eachother and dinner at TGIFridays (Thanks Donna!) I am excited for the weekend, and a chance to spend some quality time together. Chris works so much in the summer, and now with this no dui job on the weekends, it seems we pass eachother less and less. I love Sunday mornings when he's too tired to fight me off and let's me cuddle while the coffee pot brews.

The reason I actually started this blog is that this weekend will officially begin our TTC journey. For you non-chat board users, that stands for Trying to Conceive. Chris doesn't know yet that I am finally "ready", or as "ready" as I'll ever be anyways. I hope to find a quiet time that I can tell him.

Yes, I said it - we are going to see if we can't give our parents a grandkid (or 2 if Chris has his way). Now, don't go getting too excited. My doctor says it could take a while for my body to cooperate after years of being on "the pill". We can think of a million reasons to keep putting it off, but we've decided it's time to take the plunge and see what happens.

If I can remember to take the digital camera along this weekend, I'll try and get a few photos of us to post.

P.S. Welcome to our journey. I will use this to keep everyone updated, if there's actually something to update you all with. I have the feeling we're in for a long wait.