Organ Donation

It's been a little rough in my on line world lately.  Connor, a sweet CHARGE boy, just a few weeks older than Jackson, passed away quite suddenly.  His momma posted a video of him on Saturday night, after a bath, smiling and brushing his hair, not a single care in the world.  Sunday he was in the ER fighting for his life.  He underwent surgery twice, but the damage to his organs was too great and the doctors were unable to save him.  Connor gained his angel wings just a few short days later, while snuggled in his mom's arms.

When I let my mind drift off, the thoughts that come darting in and out are just awful.  I ponder how you equally divide the time when your child is dying, between yourself and your spouse, so that each of you gets their share in those last few minutes.  I wonder what Mason would say or do at Jackson's funeral.  Would he be trying to make Jackson laugh and smile the way he does at home?  Would he understand that Jackson's wasn't just sleeping, but rather that he was gone, forever?  And then I get angry with myself for even allowing my mind to think such things.  Especially when life at home has settled into a normal that almost has a sense of calm and comfort to it.  But all around me are children, and their parents and families, who are suffering.

A three year old girl was playing last week, and sustained an injury.  She was life flighted to Children's hospital, and operated on.  She coded multiple times in the ER, the helicopter, and the OR.  Her brain was robbed of oxygen rich blood for too long.  Her body was placed on ECMO.  But the MRI of her brain showed there was just too much damage, and her parents made the brave decision to remove her from life support.  They also gave the ultimate gift of organ donation.  In their deepest moment of sorrow and pain, they gave the gift of life to other children.  I struggled to sleep Saturday night after hearing of Elise's passing.  I found my brain in over drive.

I have done up Wills and Trusts and that good junk for Chris and I, to take care of the boys.  Chris has always been an organ donor.  I have always not.  There is just something about it that just creeps my ass out.  But, over coffee on Sunday morning, I told Chris that I had changed my mind.  Having Jackson, and being thrown face first into this heart community, had changed it.  It still creeps my ass out, but, whatever.  I digress.  Take what you want if it's going to help another person.  If you haven't made the decision to be an organ donor, let Elsie's story help you make that choice.  Jackson's story is what made mine.