One Year Glennaversary

Jackson's one year Glennaversary is upon us.  April 12, 2013.  365 days have come and gone.  There are days I wonder if we made the right choice.  There are days I am certain we did, and days where I am certain we did not.

I could fill pages upon pages of my fears, my PTSD, my frustrations, my sadness.  But I could also fill pages upon pages of my gratitude, my never ending love, my heart that swells with pride.  And today just seems like one of those glass half full kinda days.

365 days ago, we handed Jackson over to Dr. Campbell, weighing in at just over 8 pounds.  His recovery should have been 7-10 days, but instead we took the scenic route, and it lasted 61 days.  And at the end of those 61 days, we left.  Alive.  Together.  Happy - and maybe slightly terrified at how to take care of him again.  But we left.

In those 365 days, Jackson has learned to sit up by himself for a few minutes.  He has learned how to stand while supporting himself against the couch.  He can sign close to 20 words.  He has stolen our hearts completely.  His therapists call and text with progress reports and gush to tell me how smart or strong or determined he is.  He gets blood draws and shots to keep him safe and he just keeps smiling.  He teaches us lessons every day in patience, kindness, and in living in the moment.  There are no promises that any of us will see another day.  I play with my kids and let the dishes sit on the counter.

The love and laughter that is shared between Mason and Jackson simply melts my heart.  Jackson loves to watch his brother.  They play cars and laugh and joke.  Jackson doesn't really speak, and yet the two of them share games and secrets.  Mason is one of the sweetest most compassionate children on the face of the planet because of his brother.  Siblings of special needs kids go through their own journeys, and while it hurts me that Mason has had to walk this path with us, deep down, I know it has given him amazing strength to face life challenges.

I have met so many amazing parents and their heart warriors.  Jackson has been fully accepted in an on line CHARGE community.  I have been given opportunities to provide a shoulder to a mom in need.  And, of course, my son is still with us.  Every day he gets a little stronger, learns a little something new, experiences a little something for the first time.

Lord knows I have plenty of hard days, where I come on  here and cry publicly and bear my soul to anyone who wants to read the words.  I struggle and I doubt and I get angry.  Today, I stand back in awe of my Samurai and give thanks and praise for the past 365, and pray that god will give me a million more.

Happy One Year Glennaversary my son.  Momma loves you to the moon and back.